Current Trajectory

Where I see my future as of right now.

I realized that I have been writing about what I would like to happen in my next life, and what I would have liked to happen in a parallel universe where I didn’t have a husband, kids, and pets. What I haven’t talked about is where I would like to see my current life heading. So, that’s what I shall do, manifest it.

Currently, I live in the city I was born in. The summer between 9th and 10th grade I moved to Florida and lived there for 4 years before moving back to my home town. Then at 21 I joined the military and lived away from here for over 6 years. Then, unfortunately, I found my way back. Why, if I seem to hate it so much? Well, I had young kids at the time and my family lives here. Though we aren’t super close, my mom has always been very helpful with my children. That is one thing that I can say about my mom, she does love her grandchildren.

Anyway, I have been living here now for about 12 years. The whole time wishing I lived elsewhere, but this is where life has brought me for now.

A few years back my husband and I bought 62 acres of land in the Blue Ridge Mountains. We own a quarter of a tiny pond, but at least I have some water. If I could afford it I would have bought property that was not on the side of the mountain, but on the foothills of the mountains with a lake as my backyard. But maybe I’ll get that in another life.

For now, this is the property we have. A lot of it is not usable due to the slop. But there are a few areas that are flat enough to put a house on. When we bought it years ago I had hoped by now that we would have gotten some more progress on it, like putting septic and electricity on it. But as of right now it’s the same property as we bought it, just more overgrown. The property is about 5 hours from where we currently live so it’s not close enough to visit it often. My husband met a family that lives near there that agreed to be guardians of sorts and in return they could use it to camp or hunt on. They put a gate up in front of our drive way, along with trail cameras (which they gave us access to). They keep the main parts and the trails cut back, which is not a whole lot of area.

What I would really love to do is take the camper we have and bring it there. Build something to cover it because it’s falling a part since campers aren’t build great. To add a deck to it and put a shed next to it with a generator. We don’t have electricity or water on there so it would be pretty simple. But it would be shelter for when we go visit and I could use it as an Airbnb. I figured since that one family takes care of the property they could always make some extra cash by cleaning out the camper after each guest.

But that is a lot of time and money we unfortunately don’t have.

Honestly, when we bought it, I thought by now we would already be living on the property, but life did not lead us there. We are still trudging along as we have the past 10 years, him working 6 days a week, and me working as a hospice nurse (though I haven’t been a nurse the whole time). My spirit feels weighed down. This is not the life I had hoped for myself at this point. Not saying that it’s a horrible life. I love my husband and kids. And I am thankful for all that I have because things could be so much worse. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t rather be somewhere else.

My oldest son is 17 now, and my twins are 14. I know that 4 years will go by in the blink of an eye. When they are of legal age I will feel a lot better leaving the area and moving somewhere else. The only other thing that will stop that is my husband’s job. It’s damn near impossible to switch facilities unless there is something that allows for him to. For example: hardship. If I moved to where I would like to move to and then my husband told his facility that his wife left him because she can’t stand living here anymore so it’s causing hardship in his marriage, he would have a better change of getting a transfer. It’s sad that it takes something so extreme to be able to transfer. But without the extreme they won’t let him leave. Sure, he could quit and try all over again, but why would he do that? He is already half way into his career. He can retire in 11 years with a full government pension. I don’t expect him to let that go. He is only 38, so he will get to retire young. I just have to hold on until then. Though I do hope that they will allow a transfer within the next 11 years. Because I may truly go insane if I have to live here another 11 years.

Ideally, I would love to move to Europe, but financially and geographically that’s impossible for me. Because even though I don’t have grandchildren now, I will one day and I want to be near them. I have a feeling that my youngest daughter would move to Europe with us, but my oldest three would not. I know my boys like where we currently live and plan on staying. I’m honestly not sure about my oldest daughter.

So that is not a plausible trajectory for me.

We don’t have a ton of money so traveling as much as I would like is not a possibility either. We can really only afford to take a big trip every two years, and that’s still stretching it at times, but I can’t go longer than that without taking a big trip. If it were up to me I would take one big trip after another. But, once again, not plausible. So I have to plan where I want to go the most (which is so difficult), and go from there. We took a two week vacation to Europe (The Netherlands, France, Germany, and Austria) for Christmas last winter with 3/4 out my kids. The next trip we are planning is fall 2027 to Rome, Greece, and Tuscany, without kids. You know, my husband and I have never been on a vacation just the two of us for longer than 3 days. We have been together for 11 years.

Then sometime in 2029/30 we plan to do a UK/Ireland trip, probably with my youngest daughter, since the other kids will be “adults” by then, or at least close to it. Hopefully heading into college, or already in college. I have a ton of trips planned in my head for my future. Hoping to see them into fruition one day.

At one point in my life I would love to get an RV and go to all the states I have yet to go to, and maybe some of have, and check out all the national forests/monuments here in America. I’ve already gone to over half the states in America, my goal is to visit all 50. And then to as many countries as I possibly can, I’ve already been to quite a bit.

Eventually, I would like to build a house on our property. One that we design, that has a very large outdoor area because I prefer to be outdoors. I would like a little farm, with a garden, chickens, cows, goats, pigs, and a horse. So that we can have meat (minus the horse, we don’t eat horse),veggies, and dairy in which I know where it all came from and it’s healthy. I’d have my own little farm stand. I want to one day build different small houses throughout the property to Airbnb out (while living there myself to do my own cleaning). I want to start a little Airbnb community on my property. My husband loves building things so he could spend his days building furniture and selling it on the side. And in between all of that we travel. But obviously that is MANY years down the road. My husband has to retire first (in 11 years) and we need to save more money to be able to build our dream house. We may never save it up due to the amount of trips I have planned. But we shall see. Obviously everything is tentative since nobody knows what the future really holds.

I have a lot of dreams, we shall see which ones come true when the time comes. Who knows, maybe I’ll win the lottery one day and my entire life will change, and I will finally be able to travel the world like I’ve always wanted. Only time will tell.

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I would love for you to check out my recently published book, “Between Then and Now”, a collection of 60 poems written between the ages of 15 and 39, it’s currently being sold at Amazon. It’s also available on kindle unlimited.

Stay tuned for my book “Between Now and Hope.” It will be released sometime in 2026. It’s a collection of poems that focus on making this world a better place.

Thank you for taking the time to read my words.